 |
|
|
back to U.S. Tara menu
S2 Episode 5: Doin' Time
Doin’ Time builds directly on Episode 4, which ended with Max walking into the office in the Hubbard house and meeting Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg. This episode begins continuing with the same scene. Max realizes that the therapist is a “new” (at least to him) alter. Dr. Schoenberg tries to get Max to talk to a chair representing Tara. At one point she sits in the chair and on her face we can see the struggle between the therapist alter and Tara. Dr. Schoenberg calmly tries to get Max to talk about Tara’s attempt to talk to him about “her alter’s recent transgression” and Max putting “the kibosh on the conversation.” “You need to look at you. In this world there givers and there are getters, and my real feeling here is that you need to explore becoming more of a getter if you want to get better.” Max blows up and says that Tara needs to pack a bag for the hospital.
Marshall and Kate are upstairs talking. Marshall shares that he is afraid to tell Courtney (his quasi girl friend) that he is gay because he does not want to hurt her. Like Max, Marshall is a people-pleaser, who does not want to make waves. Kate is discussing the video of Princess Valhalla Hawkwind she made with Lynda Frazier. She is excited, but we see a snippet of it on the web, and understand why people are making fun of her: it is ridiculously silly and poorly made. Kate tries to defend it rather unsuccessfully. She is smoking a joint when she and Marshall see the police pull up to their house. Kate is convinced that they are there to arrest her for marijuana possession. In a complete panic, she and Marshall flush the bag of marijuana down the toilet. They come downstairs and are mortified to see that it is Max who has been arrested, for his earlier assault on Sully. Tara and Charmaine are confused and upset. Tara starts to drive to the jail, which is twenty miles away, in order to bail out Max.
Charmaine, Kate, and Marshall go in to the house to have breakfast. Charmaine is focused on making pancakes rather than talking much about what has just happened. Kate is stoned, at first acting silly, then suddenly slumping down into a dark depression. She is serious when she says, “So. As a family, we are completely (pause) fucked.” We see again the turmoil that affects everyone in the house, and that Marshall and Kate having to cope as best they can without effective adult support.
As Tara is driving to the jail to bail out Max, she is terribly startled when she suddenly hears Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg speaking to her from the passenger’s seat. In a panic, Tara swerves off the road and runs into a signpost. Tara becomes flustered and starts to call a tow truck without even checking the damage on the car. There is no observable damage, but Tara is not thinking clearly. After complaining that Tara made her spill her Tab drink on herself by swerving, Dr. Schoenberg tells Tara to slow down and to think. She pushed Tara to consider why the accident happened at this particular time. Tara realizes that it was an unconscious attempt “to avoid bailing Max out of jail, because he was going to commit me [to the hospital].” Dr Schoenberg tells Tara that Tara does not give herself enough credit; she says she wants to talk to Tara about the two little girls she saw in the hallway and in order to do so, “I’m gonna give you all the time that you need.”
Meanwhile, Max waits anxiously in jail for Tara to bail him out. Tara finally arrives at the jail about three hours later, far too long for a twenty mile trip. The officers tell her that Max was bailed out half an hour before she got there by Neil, Max’s partner and Charmaine’s occasional lover, and that Max “wasn’t very happy.” One officer sarcastically comments that Tara should check her messages more often. Given the fact that she had her phone with her and did not use it, and only arrived at the jail three hours after she started out, we presume that Tara has lost a couple of hours of time with Shoshanna Schoenberg.
Max and Neil go directly from the jail to the bar where Pammy works to have a drink. Neil points out to Max that his recent angry explosions are out of character and implies that Max’s anger has been displaced everywhere but “the one place it belongs,” that is, toward Tara. Pammy serves their table, which makes Max uncomfortable: he clearly wants to avoid her. Yet he chose to come to the bar where she works. He changes his mind and tells Neil to go ahead and leave without him, and he confronts Pammy. He starts with, “You know, that little thing you had with my wife?” Pammy retorts, “I don’t know your wife. I have a thing for Buck.” Max condescendingly gives Pammy cash as a “tip,” saying “thank you for not taking advantage of her (Tara) in her fragile state.” Pammy calmly advances and says provocatively, “Your wife tastes like rain,” and recites several other flavors bursting with sexual innuendo. She thrusts the money back in Max’s shirt pocket and walks away.
Meanwhile, Charmaine is at her doctor’s office for her first ultrasound. She is shocked to learn that her pregnancy is not as far along as she thought. It quickly dawns on her that her fiancée, Nick, was not in town during the time she got pregnant.
Back at home, Tara walks in after her interrupted trip to the jail, and tells Charmaine that she hit a sign. She omits any details about the cause. Shoshanna’s presence had startled her so profoundly that she had swerved off the road. Charmaine is focused on another matter: she immediately tells Tara that the baby is Neil’s, not Nick’s. The focus shifts to Charmaine’s dysfunctional relationships and devolves into a juvenile, giggly talk about Neil’s body and sex. It seems this prepubescent giddiness is the only manner in which Tara and Charmaine can discuss sexual issues, no matter how serious they are. Charmaine is clearly torn. She wants “Nick in my wedding picture and Neil on my wedding night.” She loves sex with Neil, but finds Nick the all around good looking man who is the façade that makes her feel respectable, while Neil is a great guy but not as attractive.
Tara then suddenly asks if Charmaine remembers a woman named “Mimi” from their childhood, a hint that Tara has again been having more memories. Charmaine says she does not remember anyone by that name. We assume that Tara and Shoshanna have been talking about “the two little girls,” and about the woman who met them at the door and commented on the state of Tara’s red poncho in Tara’s previous memory fragment.
Max storms into the house from the bar, furious with Tara for not coming to the jail to get him. He angrily shouts that after 17 years of their relationship, “it’s not fuckin’ workin’ anymore.” In exasperation, Max confronts Tara that Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg is not real. Tara responds that years of therapy with other therapists have failed to help her get better, and Dr. Schoenberg is finally helping. She emphasizes that she is finally having memories, as though having memories in and of itself is a help. “If the measure of real is that she helps me figure things out…then she is real." This is a poignant statement from a person who has long avoided reality and does not know how to confront it. Tara tells Max that Dr. Schoenberg thinks that Max needs her to be sick: “It’s the only fucking thing that is holding us together!”
They are both sleepless that night, Tara in bed and Max on the couch. At 4:23 AM, Tara gets out of bed and saunters over to the Hubbard house, appearing serene. Max follows and sees her transition into Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg. Shoshanna welcomes Max. Max asks for her confidentiality, again confusing the alters for separate people, and says, “I just want someone who will listen.” He is responding to Shoshanna as though she is real, just as Tara does, even though earlier he had shouted at Tara that this “doctor” was not real. He clearly is as confused as Tara. As he takes the patient’s chair, we see Tara sitting on the floor outside the office, listening in, yet another episode her growing co-consciousness with some of her alters.
Commentary
Tara’s alter, Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg, seems to be a bridge between Max and Tara during this time of high stress between them. Can alters be used to help a relationship? Again, this is a complicated question. The very existence of alters in a person with DID adds risk and vulnerability to a relationship, as we have seen in the case of Tara and Max. However, at times, an alter can serve as bridge of connection, in more, and sometimes less, healthy ways. Shoshanna seems to have some insight that is helpful for both Tara and Max to share. She is able to communicate with both Max and Tara about their inner states in ways that neither one can do alone or with each other. This is unusual. More often, one alter communicates what another alter can not, will not, or is not even aware of. For example, a child alter will seek comfort from a partner, when the alter personality out most of the time would not. The child alter might get the attention of an otherwise unavailable or preoccupied partner. A sexualized alter might engage in sexual activity with a partner, when the alters most commonly in control cannot or will not, thus keeping a sexual relationship alive. Although we do not know yet, Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg may be operating in the outside world to engage with Max in a way that is impossible for Tara. Tara has always been in the “sick” role in their relationship, and Max has been in a caretaker role. The emergence of Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg may provide an opportunity for Tara to move toward a more adult relationship with Max. We shall see.
Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg seems to be fairly balanced. Are alters that have a higher degree of functioning a sign of improvement? The answer is sometimes. Most of us know what mature behavior is, even if we do not generally act maturely, and can pull ourselves together to face certain challenges that require that mature behavior. Each person with DID is different. Some people have alters that grow in functioning as they improve; others perpetually create new alters, which, for the moment, appears to complicate their disorder. Generally the creation of a new alter is not a positive sign. We do not yet know if this alter, whether she is newly created or has existed internally and is only now taking on the persona of the real Dr. Schoenberg, is a sign of improvement for Tara. Tara and her other alters are a contradiction in self assertiveness. Tara and Alice have been overly subservient to Max (although it is clear that Alice plans to get her way regardless, with more indirect strategies). Buck and “T” have been aggressive, in-your-face rebels, even disowning the fact that they are married to Max. The emergence of Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg shows us, for the moment, a calm, wise, rational, assertive woman. She has a range of feelings and behaviors, but there are no extremes. However, as with Alice, we may find out that she is “too perfect” and thus fatally flawed.
Tara tells Max that Dr. Schoenberg thinks Max needs her to be sick, as it is the only thing holding them together as a couple. Do partners or families actually “need” a person to continue to have DID? This is a complicated question. Few, if any, partners or families would ever intentionally want someone to remain sick. However, everyone in a family plays a role which has meaning in the family system and which maintains the status quo of the system, whether that is a healthy status quo or not. We have seen that Max needs to focus on Tara to avoid his own serious issues. His “need” to have her remain “sick” is obviously unconscious, but nevertheless, serves its purposes. It seems at this point in their marriage, their only major point of contact is around Tara’s alters and their escapades. Usually, no one in a dysfunctional family realizes the unconscious pressure to maintain dysfunctional roles; these roles continue on without ever being addressed. Families of any person who is significantly impaired may come to revolve around the impairment, whether it is mental or physical. The illness or disability can become the common glue that holds them together. The Gregsons identify themselves as the crazy family on the block: it is an identity that they promote in part because it sets them apart, but also because they recognize their dysfunction and making it a point of “pride” defends against their shame at being so dysfunctional. As long as Tara is “sick,” any and all problems within the family can be blamed on Tara’s alters, that is, her illness.
How can both Max and Tara act at one moment as if they know Dr. Shoshanna Schoenberg is an alter personality, and at the next moment act as if she were a completely separate person with a separateness and reality all her own? Is that nuts, or what? The capacity of the human mind to entertain two mutually incompatible perceptions at the same time is called “trance logic” in hypnosis research. It is not insanity. It is a particular mode of thought sometimes found in people who are highly hypnotizable, and people with DID are highly hypnotizable. On that basis, Tara’s alters can both know that they are aspects of Tara and firmly assert their own separateness, or fluctuate back and forth between realizing and not realizing their situations. Max may also be a highly hypnotizable individual, because about one out of six people are highly hypnotizable. However, it is also possible that after 17-plus years with Tara, he simply has become socialized to seeing the world through her eyes, and accommodated to her dissociative perceptions of reality to the point of adopting them. We may recall that in Season 1 Max at times spent “guy time” with Buck, watching porn, swilling beer, and according Buck a reality of his own.
back to U.S. Tara menu
S2 Episode 6: Torando!
In Episode 6, Max continues to consult with Tara’s most recently surfacing alter, Dr. Shoshana Schoenbaum. He sees her in her “office” at the Hubbard house, where it appears she has offered Max a regular time and space for his feelings to be heard. He ventilates his disappointments about recent events with Tara. Finding out about Tara’s affair and lies was a setback for Max, who had thought things were going well and that “there was a light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in a long time.” The office has become a shared space where Tara can sit “outside” and listen in while her therapist/alter handles the interactions with Max. Dr. Schoenbaum for the moment is both a buffer and a conduit in their marital relationship, providing the couple with a modicum of observing distance to both speak (in the case of Max) and listen (in the case of Tara). For now, it seems to be helping, as Tara comments to Shoshana after Max leaves a session: “He’s trying so hard.” The office also represents a shared, transitional space for Tara’s self-experience in which she moves between her relationships with those in the external world and her relationships with her alters inside her mind. Tara tells Shoshana that she’s “the only alter she’s been so continuously co-conscious with,” providing viewers with a glimpse of how Tara is progressing and becoming less dissociative.
Several scenes following in which other characters in the show are learning about a tornado watch in the neighborhood. Back at the Gregson house, Marshall and Kate are both struggling to break free: Marshall from Courtney who proposes they are perfect for the “rich tradition of celibate power couples;” and Kate from Max who has grounded her despite her intention to accompany Lynda to a comic book store to make an appearance as Princess Valhalla Hawkwind. Everyone is trying to continue on with his/her individual business despite the news about the tornado (or, as the news inaccurately spells it, much to Marshall’s consternation, “torando”) warning. Max is taking the tornado watch seriously, telling neighbors Ted and Hannie “it could be big this time.” This surprises Ted, who notes that Max has been “pretty lax when these things have come through before,” a possible suggestion that Max seems more aware of problems than he has been in the past.
In the Gregson’s kitchen with Charmaine and Max, Kate demonstrates her advanced skills in adolescent rationalization and manipulation, as she minimizes the storm (and her father’s grounding of her) while trying to lure her aunt into enabling her by driving her to meet Lynda. Meanwhile, Max assumes he’s got his daughter on lockdown as he declares, “Don’t think about taking Hubbard’s car. I’ve got the keys.”
As Kate finishes her make-up in the bathroom, Marshall makes a determined effort to reach someone at the radio station on the phone to inform them of their spelling error, which he fears could endanger some of the most vulnerable citizens in Kansas for whom the word “torando” means nothing and who “will be the first to sail away when the mighty winds blow.” Kate sarcastically tells her brother “You are an inspiration, Moosh!” Her disillusionment with the adults in charge is transparently revealed as she announces to an invisible audience “And you say there are no heroes! Ladies and gentlemen - We have a homegrown hero right here in my bathroom!”
As the storm comes, Kate seems to share both Marshall and Max’s sense that something big is coming. She warns the group: “Prepare to be probed, earthlings!” (Little does she know that she is foreshadowing important events that will occur in the basement.) As the sky and wind become turbulent (with Kate in her dramatic Princess Valhalla costume and Charmaine in pigtails), the scene draws a strong but ironic set of visual allusions to the Wizard of Oz, with Charmaine (who is quite child-like and immature) resembling Dorothy, and Kate (who is trying to be grown up and powerful) demonstrating vague similarities to the good witch, Glynda.
As the storm cranks up, Max directs everyone to follow him to the Hubbard basement and we see the first of a series of instances in which Charmaine falls into a panic-stricken state. The word “basement” seems to have set something off in her as she freezes in the yard, at the top of the basement stairs, and a third time halfway down the stairs, each time nearly hyperventilating. Although it is unclear what her response is related to, we have to think that she is so clearly frightened of basements because of previous traumatic life experiences. Ted and Hannie soon join the Gregsons in the Hubbard basement and everyone gathers in a circle to wait out the storm. Charmaine continues to look terribly uncomfortable. Finally Marshall verbalizes what others are undoubtedly thinking by asking, “What’s the matter, Aunt Charmaine?” Although Charmaine protests that “it’s nothing,” Tara’s initially contained facade gives way and we see Tara begin to mirror Charmaine’s uncomfortable physical gestures, putting her hand to her throat while opening her mouth to take in a deep breath. Tara appears to be over-sympathizing and/or over-identifying with Charmaine’s discomfort and pain (probably something she learned to do when they were children), even to the point of absorbing some of Charmaine’s emotional experience. When Kate sarcastically and insensitively asks Charmaine, “Is it the prospect of confronting home canned veggies or the drains in the floor that set you off?” this proves to be way too much for Tara.
Tara’s initially calm demeanor finally surrenders to a series of rapid switches. We witness the appearance of some of her alters, starting with Buck and followed by Alice. It is notable that Buck’s appearance occurs at a time when Tara and Charmaine are clearly having difficulty. This repeats a pattern and dynamic that has been mentioned in previous episodes - Buck emerges when the girls are in danger and seems to be their protector. In fact, when Buck emerges he talks about going to the Home Depot so he can cover Pammy’s windows and protect another set of vulnerable girls from the effects of the tornado – Pammy and Pammy’s two girls.
Ted and Hannie are astonished as they witness with their very own eyes what they had only heard about before - Tara switching into her different personas. The sense of disbelief common about people having DID is captured beautifully when Hannie says slowly to the group “Oh my God, this thing is happening to your Mom.” Marshall quietly echoes in a faint robotic voice “…. thing is happening to my Mom.” When Alice appears, Max explains why they are in the basement. Alice rolls her eyes and says “I know why we’re down here Max - what do you think I am, a whore?” She emphasizes the word “whore;” as she does this, her face contorts and settles into a very hateful, frowning, almost witch-like look. Charmaine startles and exclaims to the group as if she couldn’t believe what she just heard: “Did she just say whore?!”
At this point, Tara’s body seems to go into a kind of convulsive state, somewhat reminiscent of other times we have seen Tara “transition.” The group in the basement reacts by recoiling backwards. When the convulsing stops and things become quiet, Ted looks at Max and asks “Is she done changing?” At this point Tara sits up straight, clearly having transitioned into a stronger, more confident persona. She crosses her arms over her legs and says in Shoshana’s exaggerated New York accent: “Well, that was a lot of mishugas!” Kate looks at her mother, stunned, and asks “Who the fuck is this?” Max introduces the new alter to Kate:, “This is your Mom’s new therapist, Shoshana Schoenbaum.” Charmaine puts her hands over her eyes, but Shoshana proceeds to attempt to conduct a group therapy session. Charmaine begs Max to “make her fucking stop” to which Max replies “I can’t Char. You know I can’t.” When Shoshana asks who would like to go first in the group, she looks inquisitively in the direction of Max and Charmaine. Charmaine gives her the finger.
Hannie and Ted appear to be entranced by Shoshana the therapist as Hannie tells her his story of adjusting to his arrival to the United States and of how Ted reminded him of a teacher at his British School. Shoshana notes this must have been comforting, using it to demonstrate how “choosing someone for safety can be comforting, but it can also lead to resentment over time …. a little” and she seems to be speaking to Max (and Tara) at this point. When Shoshanna quotes from her book about “love loving it all, but love has to see it, it can’t be left in the dark,” Kate seems to have had enough and demonstrates this by clapping loudly while sarcastically stating “Well I don’t know about you guys but I’m kind of grouped out.” Shoshana tries to address Kate’s anger, calling her Princess Valhalla outfit a pretty costume and asking “what’s really under all those costumes ….. Where’s Kate?” Kate abruptly jumps up and leaves the circle, upset and angered, “God, can’t we just take a minute? Give me a fuckin’ break!”
Several additional scenes in the basement follow, with Max trying to get an update on the weather through the short wave radio and Charmaine standing beside him, jiggling like a nervous little kid. Ted stands by, continuing to eat bagels as he comments that it’s pretty amazing actually how much Tara is like the real Shoshana.
Hannie and Marshall have gone to a corner and seem to be bonding as they commiserate about what a sad state of affairs prevails when those in charge of the news can’t even spell important words correctly. Marshall tries to explain his understanding of this surprisingly low standard in the American media to Hannie, but the way he explains it suggests that in doing so, he has probably explained the state of his own family’s dysfunction to himself: “I think it has something to do with freedom. We’re very free so we’re very free to be stupid.” It is a poignant moment: Marshall is clearly explaining in a parallel way the benefits of growing up in a free-spirited, albeit dysfunctional family. But Hannie sees through it, asks Marshall if he’s always been so smart and empathizes that “It must get exhausting.” Marshall acknowledges that “You kind of have to be [smart] around here, or the system eats you alive.” At this point the sound of Tara’s breathing intrudes (she now sits nearby in a lotus position), demonstrating what Marshall is talking about. Marshall shrugs his shoulders while clasping his hands tighter, acknowledging to Hannie that yes, “It is.” This acknowledgment of the stressful impact of Tara’s DID and the family dysfunction is in stark contrast to an episode in Season One when Tara asked Marshall if he liked their family “being different” because of the tumult created by her DID. At that point, Marshall enthusiastically exclaimed “I love it!” Now, the viewer can feel that the full weight of what goes along with being a member of the Gregson family has begun to descend upon Marshall. Having a mother who suffers DID can impose a terrible burden upon a child.
Kate continues to try and reach Lynda on her cell phone, and we slowly hear the radio play a series of 1950s songs. When Kate returns to the group circle, most are now dancing the twist. However, Charmaine continues to sit on the stairs in a daze, just waiting for the storm to pass so she can get out of the basement. Shoshana encourages Max to invite Charmaine to join the dancing, and when he declines, saying it’s best to “leave her be,” Shoshana confronts Max over one of the primary roles he plays in the family. She tells him that he is “not doing anyone any favors stopping things from happening.” And, in fact, in very short order, that’s exactly what Max tries to do. When Charmaine turns down Shoshana’s invitation to dance, Shoshana pushes on and starts a confrontation with Charmaine about lying, both lying in the present in terms of not admitting that it’s actually Neil’s baby she’s carrying, and lying in the past through “a pact you and Tara made.” Charmaine vehemently denies what Shoshana is saying while Max calls out for them to stop as he moves quickly towards them, just barely reaching Shoshana in time for her to faint into his arms and pass out.
The dramatic changes in lighting in this episode are often used to indicate that Tara is switching or on the verge of switching/changing her state of mind. Back at the “office” in the Hubbard house (which appears to be Tara’s internal vision of the office), Tara asks Shoshana why she made the statements she did in the basement. Shoshana replies that it’s simply time for the sisters to stop covering for each other “…. it’s time for Tara to come out of the basement.” Tara listens carefully, agrees, and the scene shifts back to the basement as Tara “comes to” in Max’s arms and stands up. Looking dazed at first, she gathers herself, and starts walking up the stairs out of the basement. Ted calls to her “But what about the tornado?” to which Tara replies “It’s over. Can’t you guys tell? The pressure’s changed,” and keeps on walking to the top of the stairs. She then turns and speaks to Max in a clear and steady voice. She says to him: “There is a light at the end of the tunnel Max. There is.” We sense these are words from Tara and Shoshana, working together.
In the final scene, we see Tara walking away through the rubble, past the wreckage of the tornado towards the sunlight, past fallen signs that say “Danger” and “Wrong Way.” The family emerges from the basement. Marshall expresses worry about his mother while Kate asks where her mother is going, and wonders if she’s coming back. Max reassures them confidently: “She’ll be back. She cares too much about you guys to just disappear.” We sense that this is the beginning of a new chapter for Tara and her alters, and for the Gregson family.
Commentary
In fairly rapid succession, Tara switches from one alter to another while the family is in the basement. Does this happen in DID, and does it really look like this? What causes this kind of rapid switching? Rapid switching between different alters does occur in DID, but it usually doesn’t look as dramatic as the switching we see in this episode. Although clients may display some subtle physical signs of switching (most typically blinking, eye movement, or change in posture), wild jerking movements while switching are quite unusual. It’s important to again remember that DID is a “disorder of concealment” in which most individuals with DID try hard to hide their switching so they can appear to have a unified sense of self. When rapid switching like this does happen, it typically takes place when there has been an unusual amount of stress that overwhelms the individual’s ability to cope. Tara could have become overloaded by the stress of the weather emergency, by seeing her sister distressed, or by being in a basement herself (although she does not state this overtly as her sister Charmaine does). Although her dramatic jerking movements are not characteristic of most individuals with DID, it is not unusual for people with DID to have physical reactions to stress that occur with switching, such as headaches, stomach aches, and shaking.
Some of the scenes in this episode seem to be about Tara’s interactions with actual people in her external life, whereas other scenes seem to blur the boundary between Tara’s external world and internal world. Is this common in DID, and how can it be understood?
This is a complicated question and has to do with how individuals with DID experience “reality.” Most individuals with DID experience confusion between external reality and internal events. Examples of this include being unsure whether something really happened or it was a dream; “coming to” in the middle of a conversation and not being sure whether something was an internal auditory hallucination or had been said out loud; experiencing perceptual confusion as to whether a person who is seen might be someone in the here and now, or an alter, or someone from the past seen in a flashback, or as an illusion that a person in the here and now might be a person from the past. These types of experiences can be very confusing to someone with DID as well as to those in relationships with the person who suffers this disorder, and can sometimes cause major relational problems (e.g., if someone with DID accuses another person of doing something that an alter did).
It is important to clarify that the blurring between internal and external realities does not mean the individual is psychotic and out of touch with reality. As children, individuals with DID have utilized a capacity for imagination to survive horrendous traumatic experiences. It is this capacity that they were able to tap into as children and draw upon in order to create their alter personality system or “third reality,” (a term coined by DID expert Dr. Richard P. Kluft). Although individuals with DID may hear voices in their minds or experience visual hallucinations, these symptoms are not psychotic or delusional in nature, but rather are connected to very real events that occurred in the past.
Through her therapist/alter, Shoshana, Tara breaks the rule of secrecy and confronts Charmaine about their pact as children. Would a therapist see this as progress? Some therapists might feel that this type of confrontation about a shared secret or pact would be considered progress in treatment because it indicates that the person is becoming less dissociative or less defensive and is more “ready” to deal with events that occurred in the past. However, other therapists, most therapists, would consider it a poorly-timed and potentially dangerous misadventure. It is not advisable that an individual confront someone from their past in this manner without doing significant preparatory work in therapy, and without taking the other person’s feelings and situation (and potential adverse reaction) into account. Confronting a family member, whether it is thought that the family member is a potential witness of important events or an alleged abuser, is a major event, and may bring about considerable distress and turmoil in the person with DID and the person being confronted. This already complicated issue is further confused by the possibility that the confrontation may not be based on historically accurate information. Charmaine just got engaged, is pregnant by someone other than her fiancée, and has just been through a period of intense discomfort and panic. However dramatic, Tara’s confrontation is unkind and potentially harmful. Confrontations bring with them many risks: the issues the DID patient raises may be denied, the DID patient may experience a painful rejection or invalidation, or the DID patient may get information which is beyond his or her capacity to handle. Confrontations may also create pain and turmoil for the confronted individual. Most therapists advise that confrontations be avoided because of their risky nature for all concerned, and recommend that if a confrontation is deemed necessary by a patient, it occur only when recovery is complete or nearly complete. Whether what she says is on target or not, Dr. Shoshana Schoenbaum’s approaches are too blunt and brutal to resemble good therapy. The confrontation promoted by Shoshana does not necessarily reflect progress but may reflect severe acting out by an alter who appears to be reasonable and normal.
During the confrontation of Charmaine about the secret pact, Shoshana offers a theory of how lying can begin in families, why it is perpetuated and how it becomes a habit. Is there any truth to what she said? Most children who are abused are threatened to not tell, or grow up with a family code of “what happens in the family stays in the family.” In dysfunctional families, particularly where abuse has occurred, children learn to cover up what is really happening at home through lies, fabricated stories, explanations, and other strategies. Lying about family events can be out of fear of retaliation, shame, or wanting to protect family members from consequences of their actions. Repetitive lying may develop in the service of survival.
Shoshana tells Tara ”it’s time for her to get out of the basement.” What does she mean? The basement seems to be a metaphor for Tara’s denial and concealment of her dissociation as well as the hiding of the truth of her past and her shared past with Charmaine as represented in their pact. However, the viewer also wonders (given Charmaine’s reaction to the basement) if the two sisters were abused in a basement, and if Shoshana is telling Tara she can “get out of the basement,” to indicate to her that she can eventually be free of her traumatic past. The true meaning of this metaphor will become clear as we continue to watch the series.
back to U.S. Tara menu
S2 Episode 7: Dept. of F'd Up Family Services
As Tara awakens to the ringing of her cell phone, she finds that she has been sleeping on Don Hubbard's grave overnight, the only place in the cemetery that has been cleared of leaves and debris after the tornado. Max is calling to tell her that the Department of Family Services is sending a social worker to the house to assess his fitness as a parent because of his earlier arrest for assault. When Tara gets home, Max is desperately trying to clean up debris from the tornado before the social worker arrives. Tara appears calm and uninterested in Max’s panic, which is growing by the minute. Max focuses on cleaning, as though that will be the deciding factor in the social worker's visit, and not his (or Tara’s) fitness as a parent. Tara leaves to pick up Kate at Lynda’s and bring her home, while Max continues his frantic cleaning. Once again, a member of the family is left alone to deal with a major crisis.
Tara becomes fascinated with Lynda and Lynda's artwork and volunteers to lend her a projector. When Lynda returns home with Tara and Kate, Max is furious. He greets her caustically, "What's she doing here?!" As Tara searchers for the projector, Lynda finds a portrait of a man and asks who it is. Tara looks shocked as it dawn on her that it is a painting of Don Hubbard, which she must have done. When Lynda asks her why she painted the portrait, Tara responds, "I wish I knew." There is a marked change in voice and demeanor, suggestive of Alice, who says, "I wish I knew why it was important to him that we all went away." Tara briefly explains the nature of dissociation and discontinuity of memory to Lynda. When Tara and Lynda return to the living room, Max is again extremely rude to Lynda. As she leaves, Max angrily says to Tara, "I needed you today…I needed you for me!" At last, Max is beginning to be more aware of what he needs and wants from the relationship, which seems to be slowly crumbling around the edges.
In reaction to Max’s anger, Tara transitions to Alice, who has been “close at hand” after her reaction to finding the painting, and starts to help putting the house in order. Max speaks to Alice as though she is a mere irritant, and he touches her arm. The usually pleasant Alice turns on Max fiercely, with a vehement, "Don't you touch me!" She then said, "You tried to kill me!" and slaps Max across the face. Max tells Alice that the only person he needs right now is Tara. Alice replies, "Oh, you're not getting rid of me again. You have no idea what you have done, the pain that you have caused." She tells him that he has been playing with people's lives as though they are just “paper dolls.” She says that he acts like the Noble White Knight, but "you are nothing but a murderer,” making the very real and present threat of a family services home seem inconsequential.
Meanwhile, Marshall’s erstwhile “girlfriend,” Courtney, with whom he had broken up comes to the house. Alice greets her graciously, offers her tea, and goes to prepare it, blind to Marshall’s discomfort. In one of many important lapses in awareness among Tara’s alters, Alice is unaware that Courtney is there to berate Marshall for ending their relationship. Courtney cruelly and unfairly upbraids Marshall, presenting him with a box on which LIAR is written in large letters. The normally quiet Marshall finally loses his composure and shouts in frustration about Courtney’s distorted view of relationships, Kate’s “specialness” with which he cannot compete, Charmaine’s pathological narcissism, and Tara’s craziness. Marshall has finally lost his patience and composure with all those around him who hurt him with their neglect and self-centeredness. Alice drops the tray of iced tea and she reaches down to clean up the mess, she suddenly transitions to Gimmee, who tears across the room, over the sofa, knocking down a lamp, just as the social worker pulls into the driveway. Tara is becoming increasingly unstable and easily triggered. Max manages to catch and lock Gimmee in the laundry room just before the social worker arrives. Max, Marshall and Kate greet the social worker at the door, looking like the perfect family, if somewhat breathless. Charmaine comes forward and identifies herself as Tara, the loving wife. They all present as a nauseatingly perfect family in a spotless home. We hear noises from Gimmee in the laundry room, and they attribute these to “the dog.” The social worker is thrilled to find that all is well, a nod to how dysfunctional families can appear to be so normal to the outsider who look no further than a five minute conversation, leaving traumatized individuals stuck with a feeling of being crazy because everyone thinks their family is so “normal.” As the social worker leaves, we see Gimmee running away across the yard: all is not well under the perfect family façade.
Tara has developed her own relationship with Lynda, to the chagrin of Kate. Where Kate had felt a special relationship with Lynda, Tara now seems to have taken over that relationship. Kate feels as though she had lost something that was her own. She scrambles to gain recognition any way she can, using Princess Valhalla Hawkwind to make money and win “prizes” by clumsily fulfilling online sexual fantasies for men. Charmaine continues to shows amazing degrees of pathological narcissism and oblivion; she seems oblivious to Neil's feelings with regard to his child and her treatment of him. At other times, she seems to step in and to do exactly what others need, but with an unevenness that bespeaks of an underlying instability. Her narcissism clearly contributes to the family chaos, but she jumped in to save the day when Tara was unable to be present for the social worker.
Commentary:
Max and Tara, who have been so close in the past, seem to be having more serious problems. If a person has DID, should relational conflicts be expected to worsen over time?
The answer is, it depends. The relationship of a couple is often pressured by the stresses and strains of daily life. The stronger and more healthy each individual is, and the more mature the bond, the less stress affects the relationship. However, Max and Tara’s relationship has increasingly visible cracks; they have bonded around Tara’s illness. And Tara’s behavior is becoming increasingly erratic and difficult, now including a lesbian affair, the first infidelity of which we are aware. These are major onslaughts to a marriage under the best of circumstances. Max seems to be fed up with Tara, who is increasingly out of control and unavailable. Up until the re-appearance of Gimmee, Tara appeared to be increasingly calm and assertive, searching for her own identity, albeit by neglecting her family. Her alters were quiet, which gave her a chance to explore her own identity outside of the Gregson home, and importantly, away from Max. Her adolescent-lie search for self in her art appears to be destabilizing for Max, who realizes just how much Tara’s illness is costing him (though he is less aware of its effects on the children). And he is likely terrified that Tara will leave him. We have seen him become increasingly angry and anxious as he becomes more aware that his relationship with Tara is tenuous, hanging by threads of shared experience that are becoming increasingly rare. Max’s role in the family has been to be even tempered, patient, steady, and caretaking. Most consummate caretakers have an unconscious expectation that they will be cared for in return. Although he may not fully realize it, Max is outgrowing the caretaking role, just as Tara is outgrowing her need for him to be a caretaker. But they have not yet found a new way to be together. It is very common for family members to be at a loss when someone with the dissociative disorder begins to change, regardless of the direction of the change.
Alice accuses Max of trying to “murder” her because he insisted Tara take medication which seems to suppress the alters. Can medications make alters disappear, and can alters be “murdered?”
In this episode, Alice appears sad, puzzled and angry that Max has wanted all parts except Tara to go away. She interprets his attempts to suppress the alters and to control them with medications as attempted murder. To some degree this response parallels Marshall's response to Courtney's efforts to get him to be what he is not: he made a great outcry to be allowed to be himself. It is not uncommon for alters, particularly those that are invested in being separate, to fear being “killed off” or “disappeared.” This fear typically begins as resentment at being suppressed by the person with DID, and then is projected on to others. Even though it appears that some alters have a very strong sense of identity, it is a brittle strength, and underneath, there are often great fears about losing a sense of self altogether, which may feel like annihilation. Of course, parts of one’s consciousness cannot be killed or murdered, as they are, indeed, parts of one person. Alters can be suppressed by the individual or perhaps by those around him or her, but often with negative consequences down the road, and they inevitably re-surface at some point.
Over time we have begun to see just how many problems Tara’s sister, Charmaine, has. But she does not have DID, and she and Tara seem quite different. How could that be?
In Tara and Charmaine we have two women each with apparent childhood trauma, who are dysfunctional in very different ways. Tara, the elder sibling by a couple of years, has developed DID, while Charmaine, as far as we can tell, has not. Yet presumably they had some of the same experiences: we know both are damaged; both are terrified of basements; both have serious sexual, relational, and identity issues; both have astounding capacities to ignore reality; and Tara’s beginning flashbacks always include Charmaine in them. We do see some remarkable similarities amonghsome the qualities of Tara’s alters and Charmaine as a “whole” person, for example, narcissism, crudeness, adolescent sexuality, silliness. At least some of Tara’s alters are more mature, whereas Charmaine seems consistently immature, more like the adolescent T. than Tara. There are innumerable factors that impact the developmental trajectories experienced by children who are traumatized in some way. Tara and Charmaine, like most siblings, were probably born with different temperaments and predispositions to integrative failure. We do not yet know, but they might have significantly different life experiences as young children, as well as some in common. And their parents may have responded differently to each of them, adding to stability here and developmental vacuums there. We are likely to find our more as the series progresses.
Everything that we have seen in this episode is realistic in the sense that it reflects at least to a degree the experiences of many people with dissociative disorders and their families. We must, however, remember that this is called a drama for good reason. An impossible number of events occur within the amount of time allotted to one episode. Nearly everything is depicted in extremes, because that is the nature of the TV drama.
back to U.S. Tara menu
S2 Episode 8: Explosive Diorama
In this episode, we continue to witness how Tara’s problems result in conflicts with her family members, who become overwhelmed. Both individual family members and the family as a whole become chaotic. Tara’s husband and her children take impulsive and at times irrational steps to deal with their pain and distress. In an early scene, Kate angrily rejects her mother’s invitation to an art show. She accuses her mother of “taking away” her relationship with Lynda. Max expresses anger at Tara when he makes several comments about Tara’s absence from home. He is distressed, but does not directly express his feelings in his interaction with Tara. His unexpressed tension explodes later in the episode.
Kate continues her efforts to create a successful business as the fantasy character Princess Valhalla Hawkwind. Following the advice of a more experienced role player, Kate sets up a “wish list” on a website and begins to trade fantasy role playing for gifts. In response to the desires of her customers, she acts out their fantasies and fetishes as they watch via webcam. The psychological implications of this behavior do not seem to be of concern to Kate, despite the fact that initially she appears very uncomfortable with what she is asked to do. Kate’s involvement in this perversity is enabled by her parents’ lack of supervision and involvement as they engage in their own preoccupations. In one exchange, Max comments on Kate’s being in her room “all day,” but he doesn’t pursue the reasons for her behavior. The increasing isolation of the Gregson family members from one another is appallingly palpable in this scene.
As Kate struggles with her own identity issues, Marshall continues to wrestle with his own sexual orientation. He queries friends about how “gay” he looks and behaves. He seems to express insecurity with his sexuality while also becoming increasingly open about it. Later in the episode, he uses illegal attention deficit disorder medication to get high with his friends while attending an art event where Tara has an exhibit. This episode finds Charmaine trying to repair her relationship with Nick, following last weeks’ disclosure that she is pregnant with Neil’s baby. Charmaine has difficulty accepting Nick’s reaction and taking responsibility for her behavior, making various excuses for her sexual encounter with Neil. Although she admits that she lied, and seems to be remorseful, her performance appears narcissistic. She begs Nick to not leave her, and to help her to believe in true love. When the couple runs into Neil at the art show, she asks Nick if they can give Neil a ride home. Charmaine seems to want to have it both ways, either out of confusion, guilt, or selfishness or some combination of these feelings.
The artwork that Tara is doing is consuming time and energy at the expense of attention to her family. Max is reacting to this while trying to also be supportive. As Tara and Lynda work on their art creations, Max surprises them by delivering dinner. Tara implies that she did not want to have dinner with him, and after a brief angry encounter with Lynda, Max leaves with Tara feeling guilty.
Tara’s art exhibit attracts much attention from her family and friends. However, Max openly criticizes her work, referring to it as “crap” within earshot of Tara. This is especially significant in light of the nature of the art project. Tara designed a house with a detailed exterior, covering a maze inside (made of cheese nips). She signed it with her maiden name, a detail that did not go unnoticed by Max. Max’s criticism leads to a dramatic and very public argument, where he confronts Tara about her neglect of his needs. Max storms out of the art show enraged, and Tara turns to Marshall and Lynda for comfort.
The final scenes reveal Max driving to visit Pammy at the restaurant where she works (which is closed at the time), Tara successfully coping with fireworks which she is afraid of, and Kate repeatedly sitting on balloons to appease her sexually disturbed online customer. Although seeing Tara tolerate her fear appears hopeful for her recovery, the other scenes (which demonstrate that Tara has become so self-involved that she is out of touch with her family), suggest impending interpersonal disaster.
Are the family conflicts shown in this episode typical in the families of those with DID?
Commentary
Although every family is different and copes differently, this episode highlights a few common emotional themes in families of individuals with DID. First is the high level of tension in the relationships and the anger at Tara for her behavior. Kate is completely disillusioned with her mother, and makes disparaging comments about her behavior. Marshall appears more ambivalent, sometimes rejecting his mother, and other times comforting her. While all families have some conflict, Tara’s symptomatic behavior has led to frustration for her children and a rupture in their relationships. Tara’s preoccupation with herself has resulted in her children’s needs going unmet.
Although the families of DID patients vary tremendously in their tolerance of the DID patient’s acting out, most can only endure it for a limited period of time before becoming angry and pressuring the DID patient to get well as soon as possible.
A second theme is the lack of communication in the family. Anger is either repressed, expressed indirectly or sarcastically, or becomes explosive. It appears that the family members don’t address their concerns to Tara directly, possibly because they do not want to stress her or precipitate a “transition.” It is common for family members of DID clients to try to protect the person from becoming symptomatic, only for these efforts to backfire in the form of emotions being expressed in unhealthy ways.
Tara’s relationship with Max is impacted severely by her DID. Max is becoming more and angry as time goes by and his needs are not being met. It is not uncommon that spousal conflict can result from attempts to cope with a dissociative disorder. Family conflicts may also relate to the internal conflicts of each family member. For example, Max’s anger is often suppressed until he has an emotional explosion, as we witnessed in this episode. These explosions can complicate things further, as they can serve to trigger past traumatic memories in the person with DID in addition to their “here and now” distress.
Family members of DID clients can find themselves overwhelmed at times, so the support of an adjunctive family therapist who has expertise with DID could be helpful. Having an opportunity to address family issues in a safe setting could potentially be an important experience for all involved. DID patients can make use of this type of intervention to address the family dynamics and stressors BEFORE they overwhelm a family’s ability to cope.
Lynda made a comment about Tara making art with “all of her selves.” Can art be useful in the healing process?
There are many ways that art may be very helpful in the therapy of DID. As Lynda pointed out, many of Tara’s self states participated in her artistic creation. Art can serve as a medium of expression that allows self states to cooperate and work together toward a common goal, each contributing their unique perspectives. This increases internal communication between self states, which, in turn, decreases dissociation. Art can also be helpful in expressing themes, memories, and experiences that cannot be put into words. Art can also be used to assist in creating safe or peaceful imagery that can be helpful in managing symptoms. It is important to note that other modalities such as movement therapy and occupational therapy may play an important role in the healing process. It is very important to have the support of a trained professional to guide such efforts. A good first step is to find a certified therapist in these areas with experience with clients who have dissociative disorders. Using art, movement, or occupational therapy in conjunction with individual therapy may enhance verbal psychotherapy and promote further healing.
Tara’s art project is a house with a roof that opens to reveal a maze with a wind up toy that is stuck and bumping into walls.
Charmaine points out a detailed United States flag on the front door. What could these things mean?
Watching the wind up toy bumping into the walls of the maze is a disturbing image, and could mean many different things. The house could symbolize Tara’s home growing up, and how she may have felt trapped and helpless. It could represent a specific traumatic event. Alternatively, it could also symbolize how Tara feels in her current home. More likely is the interpretation that the house and the maze symbolize how Tara feels trapped in her own mind and unable to break free of her symptoms and illness. The United States flag, however, seems more hopeful and optimistic, and makes us wonder if Tara sees the potential to be “united” (i.e. integrated) despite the pain and turmoil that she carries inside of her.
In one of the last scenes of this episode, Tara mentioned that she has a “phobia” of fireworks.
Are fears and phobia’s common in those with DID? Is it helpful to respond the way Lynda did when a person with DID has a fear (i.e. by gently pushing the person towards the feared experience)? Anxiety and fear are common experiences of those with DID, and many individuals with DID have fears of specific places, objects, and situations. Often the fears are associated with the apprehensions and traumatic expectations of specific self states. Typically these fears are related to past traumatic experiences that elicited anxiety and panic in the past. Persons with DID, because of their amnesia for past trauma, often have alters who do not know or understand why they are afraid of certain things. However, the fears are very real and can at times result in persons being so activated that they go into a flashback state (a state of the person with the subjective experience of literally being in the past in his or her mind and unable to connect with present situation and become grounded in the here and now).
Although persons with DID do need to be slowly exposed to their fears with support and encouragement, pushing an individual too quickly towards a feared stimulus can often prove disastrous. If pushed too quickly, an individual with DID that does not have adequate coping strategies can respond to feared situations by becoming much more symptomatic. It is best to have a therapist specialized in treating DID to teach the client useful coping strategies to deal with fear, and to make sure everyone involved knows how much the client can handle at any given point in therapy.
back to U.S. Tara menu
|
|
